Weight Loss

Under Pressure

I’ve been pushing against it for at least a week now. Amidst a variety of other factors and issues I just haven’t been able to keep my head in straight, for about a week now. Scaling back my workouts, trying to meditate and make time for self care… but nothing seemed to help.

Pressure. Thick…. suffocating pressure beating down on me. If there’s one thing I have learned in the last year, it’s that any weight loss journey comes with it’s own maze of anxiety and pressure. Sometimes that pressure provides motivation, and fire and I am usually able to USE THAT!! Typically I can convert it into helpful fuel to propel myself further on this dusty road! After all, as they say — no pressure, no diamonds!

BUT this?? This pressure??? Building up, climbing the walls and cracking the seams of my soul….. this is anxiety dressed up in costume parading around as a pressure I can’t possibly tame.

On Tuesday, I woke with a migraine… most likely as a result of lazy hydration. So, I excused myself from work and closed my eyes tight against my pillow. I could still feel my brains throbbing inside my scull…. but somehow I drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

When I woke the headache felt better, but the anxiety and panic I felt was at a rolling boil. I knew I would need to get up, get up and go downstairs… near the kitchen where the food is. And I’d have to make choices.

I do everything I can to make those choices easy. I prepare my food, currently I’m only eating once a day to try to combat a stall on the scale and ongoing will power obstacles. But today… today I need it to stop.

I sat on the couch ignoring the kitchen at my back…. but after a while it felt like even the walls were vibrating.

When anxiety strikes me like this, it’s rare but usually there’s typically always something to be done. A choice of some kind that makes it stop. I knew what it was, and I’ve been fighting against it. I AM SO CLOSE! So close to ending this stage of the game!! BUT I can’t get there if I’m fighting myself every step of the way. It’s time for a break.

I called my Diet Doc and got approved for a break, and all at once the vibrating anxiety quake settled.

It’s not a perfect science. But sometimes, you just need to break and allow yourself the room to breathe and JUST BE! A few days of flexibility should do me good!!!!

Final thought: I sound like a broken record, but listen to your insides…. sometimes they tell you things you don’t care for, things you don’t like to hear– but it’s far easier to embrace the info and find a way to accept it than spending your time and energy fighting it!! You’re doing better than you think you are so give yourself a break!!

And also THIS!!!

TTC

You’re Doing It Wrong

Sometimes I learn things so obvious and simple that I don’t know how I’ve managed to survive this long as a human without knowing them!!!! This thing I’ve learned, seems common knowledge-yet I feel like there are many that don’t know it so I’m spreading the word!

Here’s the thing about weight loss and fitness and all the conflicting information that exists in the world!! There are so many ways to exercise all will get you to a different goal, and without realizing it you could jump in a lane headed to a goal that is not aligned with your own!! I’ve spent most of my life trying to figure it out! How to lose weight, how to exercise and the whole time… I’ve been doing it wrong!!

Now, I’m not a personal trainer. I’m not an expert- but I AM someone who has lost over 100lbs in less than a year and quite recently I feel like I’ve cracked the code on the thing and I’m obligated to share my findings for anyone else out there struggling like I have been!!

Up til now the program I am on has been strictly dietary. It’s medically monitored and I’m not permitted to give it out because it’s copy-written and dangerous to be on without being monitored. But I can tell you that my whole life… I have been exercising WRONG [for fat loss]!

You see it, in movies, tv shows, trainers, friends maybe “PUSH HARDER! You can do it! Push push push!!!!!” It’s always about more, more more!! You work out, and tell yourself to push harder, do more than last time, faster, farther than last time! I look back on workouts I’ve posted about in the past, and it seems like I was always so disappointed in them. Saying something like “points for showing up” or some other negative comment about it not being enough. So negative!!! Never satisfied with myself and what I was able to accomplish. Meanwhile, those same “not good enough” workouts would destroy my body! I was constantly sore, injuring myself, and for all the trouble… the weight loss never felt like it matched my efforts.

Here’s the thing that I’ve discovered that no one talks about!! It’s a simple concept but very effective!! Instead of gauging your workout by effort – measure it by heart rate! Target/Fat Burning Heart Rate to be exact!!

Now, in order to find YOUR specific actual max, resting and fat burning heart rate you’d need to visit a cardiologist but there are charts and tools available online to get you in the ballpark. From what I’ve read your own personal target rate can differ 10-20 beats but it seems to me at least if you can pinpoint a target and try for it you’ll see way better bang for your buck when it comes to your workouts!!

Here is a chart I found, your fat burning heart rate is in the 70% of max column.

Interval training still works, but you have to make sure your rest interval brings you all the way back down to at or below your target! Before, I would do 1 min intervals of work/rest and my heart rate wouldn’t have time to recover so my avg heart rate in my Feb work outs was 160-170 when it should have been more like 130!!!

This also makes so much sense when it comes to weight lifting- that particular exercise is not a high pumping heart rate activity! No wonder why it’s so effective!!

It’s so nice that NOW, I find that my fat burn zone is a comfortable jog/walk! I no longer have to completely exhaust myself to feel like I’ve done enough!! I’m not constantly sore, and I am completing more and better workouts, sometimes even more than one workout a day!!! I am still sweaty, I still improve my distance and time but not only do I feel more satisfied with my efforts–they’re actually making a difference on the scale!!!

Who would have guessed – if your workouts aren’t yielding the number you want to see on the scale the natural reaction isn’t to DO LESS… but for fat burning efficiency that’s exactly what I am doing!

Just by making these adjustments and being diligent about diet I’ve more than doubled my scale loss in the last month!!

February: total loss for the month was 5lbs – I worked out every day, and honestly was pretty miserable for most of that!

March: it’s the 10th and I’m already down 9lbs for the month!!! And I feel fantastic!

I dunno…. here’s the thing, I’m not telling you to do what I do, but based on my own experience and research it’s worth a try if you’re up for a challenge of your own!!!

I’m still 20-30lbs from finishing my program so we can start trying for baby, but man I tell you my head, heart and body finally all feel in sync and I’m no longer swimming against the tide!! All of this hard work is so much easier when it’s WORKING!!!!

That’s all I got for ya for now! Had to share what I’ve learned!!! All I can do is hope this information helps someone else that may be struggling because it’s just the worst to think you’re doing all the right things, to only be fighting yourself in the end!!!

Feeling like my very own superhero lately! Down 119lbs!

Then vs Now

Weight Loss

Motivating the Un-Motivatable!

Time for an update!! So much has changed! I’m three weeks in! Three weeks into my medical weight loss journey! It’s been TOUGH, but oh my god you guys I am not only watching my body change before my eyes, but also so many other things are changing too!

I’ve tried to lose weight my whole life – too many times and fads to count! Some more successful than others, but all ending in falling off the wagon, gaining the weight back, feeling more awful and rejected than ever before.

When I am in a slump, I feel completely Un-motivatable! This time felt a little bit the same, but oh so different! The timing wasn’t great. I wasn’t in love with the plan. I didn’t buy all new work out clothes to insure I’d go to the gym…. and basically did nothing that I normally do when I focus on weight. Sometimes, I guess you just have to take a leap as scary as it is and change up EVERYTHING and believe it’s going to end differently because it started differently.

The main thing that motivates me are results- no matter how big or small I’ve ALWAYS been about results. Be it time off my run/walk, extra stamina, weight loss or whatever it is! I gotta have results to press forward!

I’m excited to share some amazing details about my progress!! Please keep in mind my program is medically monitored and I’m certain there are medical weight loss resources in a town near you!! I highly suggest this to anyone!!! It’s the only thing I’ve ever done that has WORKED!!!

Week 3 Progress:

  1. I have lost over 5 inches off my midsection!
  2. I have lost 22lbs in 3 weeks!
  3. I am no longer able to binge eat large quantities of food! (I’ve tried to bank my food for evening meals a few times and it’s backfired, as I wasn’t able to eat it all! Things I would not have believed if you told me 3 weeks ago!!)
  4. My Glucose level went from 109 to 82 in TWO WEEKS!!!!!
  5. I was able to stop taking Metformin! (Anyone who’s taken it knows it’s awful! Major bathroom issues with this med and I’m overjoyed to breakup with it!!)
  6. I feel great! I’m the girl who needed a nap in her car at lunch to make it through the day! Now a lot of that may have to do with the fact that I’ve been pumped up on fertility hormones for some time and those are all long gone now–but I’m sure a lot of it was this weight and the foods I was eating!
  7. I’m voluntarily working out! Nothing super strenuous at this time and workouts aren’t required on my plan– but I want to and it feels great!!
  8. I’m no longer winded instantly! This one’s huge for me!!
  9. I am rarely tempted to actually cheat. Sure stuff smells good… and I see delicious things all the time, but when it comes to actually “cheating” somehow I’ve managed to stay on the straight and narrow!

10.) Lastly…. my final result/reward is this photo.

The photo on the left was taken at the beginning of December, and the left this morning!! There are no words.

(But I’ll try to find some anyway)

Nothing feels better than tangible results…. and knowing you’re changing your life for the better! I was in the deepest darkest hole… and now I’m here and I believe that this time will be different, truly.

DISCLAIMER:

I can’t share the specifics of the plan, my doctor has very strict rules about sharing the program. If you’re interested in the details, I suggest you find a medical weight loss specialist in your area. If you’re in the Phoenix area message me and I will get you in contact with my doctor.