Lucky Number 7

We’re doing this! Gearing up for our “lucky” number 7th IUI Cycle. I was ready to start up treatments again about three months ago, but due to scheduling and then waiting for my lady bits to get the memo we are finally on track again! Finally after a 64 day long cycle I am ready to go!!!

Since we began treatments in 2016 we’ve completed 6 IUI cycles. I like to take photos of myself on IUI day, to look back on and remember what state I was in on any given cycle. I love these photos, I like to believe I look the most pretty when I’m ovulating- it’s a very primal thing and going into this, our 7th IUI I gotta believe we are just 1 cycle away from making our dreams come true!!!

Lately,I’ve had difficulty reconciling my feelings and getting myself on board with the COST of all this. I’ve even found myself trying to find ways to skim off parts of the available treatments to save money. The last 3 cycles have run from $2000-2500 due to increased dose of injectables. Ouch, literal and figurative there!

It’s hard for me to watch others accidentally get pregnant while we throw all of our money at my fertility doctor in hopes that one of these times it will work, and STICK! Now, I do realize everyone’s plans have NOTHING TO DO with me… but it still hurts beyond measure sitting on the sidelines as I watch and cheer for everyone else.

After so long of this, the stress, the money, the emotional hurt— we needed a break, and so did our pocket book. We took a few months off and instead took trips together, talked about our focus, plans, held each other tight and remembered what it was like to not have our entire lives spinning on a hot plate- a hot plate called infertility.

So here we are now, at the starting line again. Blood work, ultrasounds oral hormones, and today the start of injectable hormones that will hopefully generate some good eggs for our IUI in a week or so (depending on growth, my cycles tend to run a little long).

The reality is, this is what WE have to do, to make our dream of adding a child to our family. This is what it looks like for us. It’s hard, it’s emotional, and it’s expensive… and it “is what it is”. I believe that this will work!!! I have to.

I believe our baby is on the way. Our baby is hurrying as fast as possible to find us. 2018, my hopes rest on you!

  • Cycle Day: 10
  • Treatments ongoing: 2 follicle scans
  • Preliminary blood work,
  • Femara 7.5mg/days 3-8
  • 3 viles HMG injectable daily
  • Mental State: Cautiously Optimistic
AngelMom, TTC

New Cycle Feels!

  • Cycle Days: 2 & 3
  • Treatments: 1st Ultrasound, Initial Blood work,  75mg Femara
  • Mental State: Day 2: Nervous, Day 3, I got this. 

This is me… taking a breath before going into my Cycle Day 2 ultrasound. This is me making a choice, opening up my head and heart to a new possibility. A possibility to realize my dreams… or to have them puréed…. which will it be???? Have to wait and see!!!

(And PS I don’t even wanna hear it about my stupid filter. I love it, I’m adorable, it’s my thing, get over it haters!!!! Hahaha) 

I’m super nervous as I turn the handle and push open the heavy wooden door, it loudly creaks open. The first step down into this rabbit hole. One I’ve fallen down a number of times, yet each time it’s a new an foreign sensation. My stomach and head are spinning… wondering what kind of news I’ll get… as we shake the magic 8 ball that is my vagina.

The seating in the waiting room gives me almost as much anxiety as the appointment I’m there for. Pompous dark fluffy couches that are basically a foot off the ground… I know with 100% certainly that I will not look graceful when I try to remove myself from it. They wait the perfect amount of time to call my name… not long enough for me to stress spiral, but just long enough for my ass to have made an everlasting bond …. and with that it’s time to hoist myself up and out of the fluffy trap I’ve been bamboozled into. Oh the life of an awkward girl…you can take this moment to picture it, and laugh- it’s cool. Go ahead!

This appointment signifies one year of treatments. Which is disappointing, but also helpful in that we now have whole year’s worth of measurable data. Data to analyze, compare, and obsess over. This data will help us come up with the best plan! Plans are good…. there are a few different scenarios that could come to pass, and I’m grateful for the facts, the honesty and the options I have to choose from. Choices are good. Data is good. The hope and promise of a possibility… is good.

And then we cut to today…

Blood work for the upcoming cycle, which is basically a rework of the original blood work because we’re now a year in we need to … you guessed it analyze and review!
I am typically a “hard stick” at the ol blood bank. Meaning all the phlebotomist see me coming and run for cover. They take turns drawing straws… which is a total waste of time – but I’ll get to that!
My favorite phlebotomist Sean is there and I’m happy. Many many times he’s saved the day and got my blood when no one could…. but today…. might Sean has struck out!!!

I need to fill up 7 vials… he tries and manages to get some blood, but it’s not enough and we end up wasting what he did pull because it clotted up and was no good. He tries two more time, with similar failing results. Next!!!

I go through every single technician in the joint! All 5 literally took a stab at me in order to kind of fill the 7 more vials needed! 5 techs, 8 puncture wounds to remember them by, 7.5 vials filled-ish, 2 and a half hours spent with my “friends” at Sonora Quest…. Normally this sort of thing would really take the wind out of my sails. Normally I would be broken and beaten down. Believe me — it was no cup of tea — and given the option I would certainly pass…. but today, I can’t be phased. Steps in the right direction and that’s all I can ask for!

But as it always is…. our kid would be worth all of this and so much more! 


One week later and the bruises are still there but hopefully leaving soon!!! So lovely!