Mental State: Grateful
Here’s the thing about Cycle Day 1. Apart from being what it is- which is sort of miserable and tedious in general, if you’re someone who is trying to get pregnant it tends to represent the finality of failure in your efforts, at least for that cycle. It sucks. It’s also not physically pleasant, which also sucks. It all sucks. It just does-anyone who tries to tell you different waives any and all rights and in so doing provides tacit compliance to receive a direct punch to the face, chest or groin- dealers choice. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding….. who’s gonna punch the chest?? Go with the face or groin.)
Having said all that I have really been trying not to lose myself in all the negativity that comes with TTC. Perhaps it’s working, because today when my Aunt Flo (AF) finally arrived after 50 full days — I felt nothing but grateful, and relieved.
Relief, that despite my lack of pregnancy my body is working again. This means I have another chance!! I am in control of whatever choice that is ahead! And, for me any control is better than none at all!! I’ll be heading back to our specialist to analyze the causes for such a long cycle and what our options are going forward.
Being grateful is the most powerful weapon any of us really have against negative feelings. I feel like I’m a better, braver, stronger person when I am free from those toxic feelings. And to proceed and keep fighting I will need to be brave, and strong.