May 21, 2017
When you’re someone facing infertility, and you decide to be vocal about it- in what ever capacity you choose, often times God sneaks in. This type of sentiment is not typically helpful or comforting to me. In every other aspect of my life, the choice to succeed or fail usually lies on the choices I make and whatever rewards or consequences that follow. Perhaps that’s why struggling with infertility is so painful, you do any and everything possible and if it doesn’t work, you blame yourself. These God loves you, it’s Gods Timing, Etc comments usually just make me feel uncomfortable and confused… please don’t tell me Gods agenda, how could you possibly know it.
Today, was the first day that someone made a comment to me that involved God that didn’t make me cringe.
Today I was at a memorial for a special gal that is no longer with us. After the service her daughter came to me, pulled me in close, and with tears in her beautiful eyes said the following: “I have good feelings for you and Dawson. Something good is going to happen… Because whenever God closes a door, he opens up another one” and I’m paraphrasing here because I was trying with all of my might not to make the ugliest of cry faces imaginable in public… spoiler alert I did not succeed.
Some of the sweetest words that have been said to me. Ever.