Infertility changes you. It changes every single thing about you, or at least it did me.
I’ve always been afraid of needles. Well needles are a bit of a thing when you’re doing infertility treatments. And you’re responsible for learning how to administer them yourself!?! WTF IM NOT A DOCTOR? I’m not even a highly skilled nurse? I’ve never even taken CPR– [I need to do that though. *Memo to me. ] and now here we are. Me and my beloved, nightly before our regularly scheduled mandatory doc ordered romp session having to deal with hormone injections.
It’s amazing what one can get used to. And what you can’t. That bitter sting of rejection and failure that comes with a negative pregnancy test never gets any easier and somehow it’s familiar and foreign all at the same time. It’s fresh pain and surprising grief every single time.
Fuck you infertility.